why am I always the unlucky one ?


..&tbh, my life is so much better without you, I have to admit.

got 'em, bittches.

What you makin that face for?
I'm tired of you accusin me, it's not the way it is supposed to be.
There'll be days like that, there'll be days like this
When we start out mad, and we wind up pissed
Can we go and do that all day?
Now the only thing I can say
Is that I wish you could read my mind,
wish you could take some time
To listen to me, I wish you believed,
and then you would see that I
I don't know what I ever did to you
To make you feel this way.

I have better things to worry about.

i do miss you tho. <3

:)

You were never my best friend.

why can't i ever say no to you?

you're my favorite.

You'll get what's coming to ya.

I acknowledge the ones who think they know me, just so they feel flattered.
I smile at the ones who dawg me, just so they become confused.
I hide what I did and would hurt the people who know me, just so I can protect myself.
I am my own person and I know who I am.

But you, you think you know me.
So for you, I am listening.
Tell me what you know.





"God will you keep him safe from the thunderstorm?
When the day's cold will you keep him warm?
When the darkness falls will you please shine him the way..?
God will you let him know that I love him so?
When there's no one there that he's not alone?
Just close his eyes and let him know
My heart is beating with his.."

few things on my mind..

Holiday's coming up already. I'm super excited because I love the feeling of Christmas. So happy and cheery and reason to cuddle. A lot of people get kinda sad during the holidays cos "they dont have anyone to celebrate with." Dgaf, I make Christmas the best I possibly can.

These months are passing by reallyy quick..Next thing Imma know is that my debut is TOMORROW. Eeeekk. I thought it woulda been easy keeping 18 couples..yaannno..36 fckin people. Because I thought people were loyal and reliable enough to stick with it. But apparently, no. So unfortunately. It's getting closer and closer to cutting HALF the people in my court just to have 9 couples. As much as you would think that it's easy for me to cut people out..It's fuckin difficult. Cos it's either people I'm not close to who try..or people I am close to who don't try. So who do I choose? The closer people to me or the people who put in the effort. I don't have the balls big enough to do that, so I'm putting my boys who are helping out a lot to do it for me. Ha..Let's see how this goes. :/

Gahd, you are so fuckin' ridiculous. How the fuck do you tell me you miss me then same day same time practically, you tell another beezy the same thing..and worst of all its like you're not slick about it. Cos I CAN check your comments, you fuckin turd. I'm so sick of people like you. I seriously think you need help, mental.

I'm sorry if I've been hurting you or messing with your head..end.

This is ridiculous. I really don't know where I'm gonna be TOMORROW. Are we moving, are we not ? I hate this shit. It's more like..NO money, MORE problems.

This isn't healthy.

I need some excitement in my life, some "umph." Everyday I ask for a good day, a day that maybe he doesn't pass through my mind. Cos the pain is getting fucking annoying. I think I need..a vacation. Oh my that sounds great right now. Just to get away from everything. Not even with anyone..just me. Oh how joyous.

if i could make time stand still

I've learned that with you, as much as I wanna say no and prevent myself from spending time with you. I will lose against not wanting to. Because all in all, you make me happy. Whether is it for the time being or for long term. I love having you to think about. This weekend was fun. I thank you for it.

Could it be the world's gone colder? Baby, I'm a losing soul. The more I try it just gets harder and my pain is getting old. Somebody said that nothing lasts forever, just the storm so I've been old. But it seems that when it rains it pours..And you know the rain won't last forever. And you know the storm won't always flow, But if the sun don't shine forever. You gotta let it go. Sometimes my burdens get so heavy and it seems too hard to bear. Sometimes I feel so empty and it feels like no one's there. Somebody said that nothing lasts forever, just the storm so I've been told,b ut it seems that when it rains it pours

Either they're really lucky,
or I'm just unlucky..

Either way, I lose.

poor girl

has no idea.

Why is it that no matter how much you hurt me, I still seem to do whatever it is you want that makes you happy?

"Manipulative little bitch."

"when i feel like it"

Halloween

Yesterday was a good night definitely. Charlie's Angels kicked ass. But we didn't take any pictures :/ I don't remember the last time I was with that many people, but I really enjoyed my halloween. (: End of story.

& for the hell of it:
Who are you dating?
No one. Thanks.

Did you go to sleep happy?
I guess you can say that !

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
I don't know. Hopefully not

Who'd you last talk to on the phone?
Nico

Who's house were you at last?
Jaz's Grandmas

Do you want to know the date of your death?
What the? Do you ?

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Nope

Who were you with last night?
A GRIP of people. Shaysh.

Who did you last take a picture with?
Don't remember.

Could you go a whole year without cursing?
I wish :/

Are you happy with the way things are going?
I guess so !

Do you like to wear flip-flops?
I do indeed.

Do you call it sitting "criss-cross" or " Indian- style" ?
I used to called it Indian-style...in 6th grade.

Who comes to mind first when I say list your favorite person?
"who's my favorite person ?"

Do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?
Jazmyn & Kirstie.

Do you want to get married and have kids?
Of course.

Do you smoke weed everyday?
No.

Are you wearing jeans right now?
Pang bahay !

Are you ticklish?
Yes.

Who is the last person you laughed with?
Jazmyn

How much money have you spent today?
Broke..

What's something you really want right now?
Anything would be nice.

Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
I used to.

Do you like going to the movies?
I do.

What kind of pants are you wearing?
Sweats.

Did anyone see your last kiss?
Don't think so.

Why aren't you in 'love' with your last ex anymore?
Because, shit happens.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Minor.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
3ish?

What do you currently hear right now?
Jazmyn playing that farmville bullsh !

Do you smoke crack everyday?
Hell no.

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
Just now.

Have you ever ridden a horse?
No.

Have you ever cried so much you threw up?
No. Hahh. wt.

what are you looking forward to next month?
Thanksgiving ?

What are you looking forward to in the next week ?
Practice ?

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
Yes, but eh.

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Idk.

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
Either one is bullshit.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Do you ?

Who do you blame for your mood today?
Bitch.