Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pause

Can we put life on pause really quick..just for a quick second while I try to catch up with the rest of the world, or better yet, myself. Cos I don't know what's going on right now and I can't really focus on anything. I just wanna put life on pause for a quick minute..just so I can figure out the truth. Cos real talk, I have never been so confused with myself in my life. Unless I'm overacting, which sounds like something I would do. What is going on. I'm so fuckin lost. Someone find me please.
PLEASE.

It amazes me how much a song can relate, how much music can change your fuckin mood, don'tcha think?

For the millionth time..I DON'T KNOW.

Idk

how much longer I can do this.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Rollercoaster

This is the longest rollercoaster I've ever rode.
Yesterday was full of loops and downs all day.

I'm sorry for yelling saying shit you know I could never mean. :( I just get scared..cos I'm confused enough, but I'm just really happy we put an agreement to forget about the whole thing. I miss you.

___________________________________________
I had a good weekend. Friday with the wesco girls boiling crab and americana. I saw Khia, Mikey, & Steven. :) And a few other coolcats. Thanks for chillin, guysss ! Got home late and in somewhat trouble, but that's okay. :) Saturday, didn't get out until 9. Out with Jaz, Row, & Jess. FUNNER NIGHT than I expected. We had a good night and I bumped into a lot of old faces and met a lot of new ones. Saturday was the first night in a while I went to a party, and surprisingly it was really fun. Shit didn't get broke up for once and it was in LaPuente. Ha, anyways. Afterwards went to back tristans and then uhhhhhhh..went home pretty late. & Not in trouble, woooooooo ! Sunday, went to hospital to visit Emcee, Jesse, & Jai. Then pho with my sister and uncle rogie. Everything seems to be going well. Welcome to the world my beautiful neice <3 THIS WEEKEND..sadies shoppin? I'M FUCKIN BROKE SHOOT ME NOW.


btw, can someone teach my how to jerk?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Matt D.'s Example of a Flow Session

Cos I swear he almost made me cry with this..

"So she said make her a rap and to show it when you're done. But I'll write you a little song while I play beer pong. But I'll stop with all the drugs shit for now because I know how much it bugs to hear about some thugs comin' down. So turn that frown upside down and I'd like to tell a story bout this girl that I found. She's so wonderful in every single way. I'm so glad I get to speak her to her every single day, sometimes she just acts so gay though so I would tell her to leave and go away to the a Bay but no, fuck that shit, I'd miss you too fucking much, and so today you asked me to this thing called sadies but look at chu you're my favoritest fuckin' lady. I just laughed at that shit because I'm such a freakin' faggle just like you'd always call me just because I'm Matt fuckin' Dee. You're just too cute and let me take you back to our roots. It was the summer of 7th grade all these muthafkin' niggas tryna act like they'd always get laid. That's when I met this little girl, she was the downest chick in the whole entire world. She loves to smile for the camera or take a little flick then she'd take a pick of her most favorite pic. She had the longest hair ever and I turned around and took a giant bite of my pear. Then it's been years and years we haven't spoken to eachother we kept our distance from one another. We both had different lovers at the time and all of a sudden we became the best of friends I'm glad we did and I'm not sad. I feel like we drifted apart then came back together, but I hope that it stays this way forever. Her favorite color is purple and she loves the Lakers. And she hates those niggas who are just faker than fake. She doesn't really like to bake but it's just once in a while or maybe she's in denial. She loves to sit and eat a block of cheese while I front and sit around like I was popadoc with a glock. Some cheese just like two peas in a pod, makes her happy like if her main squeeze was her papi. She loves apple sour straws and she doesn't have many flaws, or from what I see shes just almost perfect to me. She's a march baby and shes four foot eleven, she's like an angel sent from heaven, she likes to drank slurpees from seven eleven but I think she'd rather have a fruitista mangostrawberry but when she wears a crown she looks like a little fairy but no in my world she's a princess and even if she fucks up i don't think any less of her. She's my favorite girl I love her hair when it's curled. She's so gorgeous she looks better than George Bush, and she don't like the bud so she hates the kush. I can tell in her eyes she hates when I push, to make a dollar on the streets so just holla. She's only seventeen years old, she's six months older and my birthday's when its colder. She's like a flower when she blossoms in the wind, and she's down she's not a coward. I know I'm pretty fucking lame but look at you walking around every single place you got fame and I know you don't really like it when we play games. In my world you're a boss, you're not the kind of girl to toss around or beat around the bush. You'd rather be straight forward and real do ya feel? I'm getting fuckin' lazy this is making me daze-y but I'll keep going just for you. I'd do anything for your just as long as its coo and I don't act like a foo like a piece of poo on a friday night, but tonight I just hope that we won't fight. But then again when do we really fight? Unless I'm just playin' witchu foo. I'm just kidding you know that i love you, just like a dove in a pond but on the real i'm just fond of your presence. i love being around you i love every single second of it. whether the night is a bust or if we kick some rocks or kick some dust. but chelsea you know i trust you with my life, so i sit here and spit this ciphe. i love your big pretty brown eyes and i hate to see it when you're down. when you're sad and have the biggest frown. but i know you're a strong girl, you're strong just like king kong. and you like singing songs about sex money drugs but id rather give you hugs. i love it when youre so cheery because when we see eachother i seem to always be weary. when im not around you i tend to get a little teary whether it be something going on at home or wishing i was in rome. you hate anything thats spicy or anyone whos a little too fiesty. you love the s1 from thai village, extra sauce white rice i dont care the price ill pay for your dinner just as long as we're both winners but i talk like im a weiner like an oscar mayer wiener and you always talk like youre a beaner. as if i was a pysa or a hyna but i know that youre just tryna be funny. you make my days oh so sunny and you made a little video of you my little chubby bunny. youre my sugasuga you stick like a booga! now i could keep going but ill end with this, im getting a little tired and im feelng not so wired. i love everything about you and the things you do, i just hope theres something i can do back for you if thats coo well now i hafta leave and doo doo. =D

-Matt D.


al;kynpaouyna;oyjawny;ouawn'
He's amazing ! I love you <3

Anyway, I asked Matt to sadies today, & I had to do it quick ! cos the prices are going on so I couldn't do it in person. :(
I text FIVE different people and during lunch I had Mariel go up to him..and show him a text from "WILL" saying :
"i know this is kinda gay,
but i hope you're willing to play.
just follow my directions throughoutt the day
and you'll understand later, kay?
read the names that these clues come from
put em together and they won't sound dumb.
you call me an etard cos i like to roll,
now do me a favor a look for joel !"

Then he looked for joel,
Joel showed him a text from someone named "YAGO"
"Now I'm sure you know what this is for,
and I didn't want to ask in a bore,
and since i can't ask you in per-son
this is the only way I can get it done.
How do I hope you don't hafta go far,
do you mind finding castanar?"

Chelsea Castanar shows him a text from someone named "WIFF"
"We all know you know who I am
But do I look like a give a damn?
Keep on going and follow the clues!
Even if you don't like these foos.
sorry I'm running out of words.
Good thing your school is full of nerds.
they're all asian and not bean-oh !
now go find andre leano !"

Andre shows him a text from someone named "METO"
"Alright alright, you're almost done.
and yes I know, this was so much fun.
now you have one more person to find.
she's really wittle and super kind.
ner name is alanna, and she has the last clue!
now go ahead and find her, boo! :)"

Alanna shows him this..from someone named "SADIES"


"Haha surprise ! I know this is lame,
but I hope you enjoyed this game !"

Get it? WILL - YAGO - WIFF- METO - SADIES?

I know, how fuckin lame. & I made him walk around the whole school, hahaha.
Wuv you Matt. <3

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Hi Suga.

It's driving me insane, & I need it once again..

Oh baby, you already knowwwwwwww !
Remember, I love you.
but I only give to those that deserve,

&don't forget, I'm the best you've ever had. :)

Oh but tell me, where are we?
Cos I'm following your lead.



Today went by quick. Blockschedule is niceeeeeeeee. I hate you !

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Thank You

To everyone who celebrated my birthday with me. I had a GREAT pre-birthday, BIRTHDAY, & post-birthday. & I didn't plan one bit of it ! Haha. I swear, I think I got everything I wanted. <3 I had my downs on my birthdate itself. but c'mon it was friday the 13th. that's not surprising. Matthew Del Rosario & Dwayne Cabrera. You guys are amazing. SERIO. Anyway..Maybe I'll get into detail later about everything. All that's really important is I had a great 17th birthday. But I'm not even done celebrating. :D Next weekend, I continue ! Monday, I'm celebrating with my family, finally. Boiling crab with the girrrrrls on Friday. & Hooters on Saturday. Fsho babyy. P.S. I'm the best.


She already knows !


FAILURE.


Pre-Birthday

Birthday.


After-Birthday

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hi !

I have no been blogging much. That just means one of two things..either busy or lazy. Either one shouldn't be an excuse ! This weekend was all about Mary. Friday, our LAST practice for her debut and it all paid off for Saturday.
Mary, YANNO I LOVE YOU RIGHTT? I had so much fun at the debut and I give myself props for actually making you cry ;) Toldja I was going to ! HAHA But you were starting to make me cry. Anyway, here's my 18 candles speech :
To my dearest mary,
"Honestly..I have no idea what im supposed to say..so im just gonna wing it. I wanted to start this off by saying how we met.. and I tried talking you about that before..but you don't even know either..so..that's not gonna happen. But anyway.. I've know you for a good...five years or so.. and we've been through enough ups and downs to finally be able to say were at the point where we've never been so close. I don't know if its all the debut practices this past month that brought us closer but im sure that even if it weren't for the practices we'd still be hanging out every weekend. I think it was like...one good year that we didn't talk, because of certain drama i don't wanna reminsce on. Haha :-) but im really glad we finally overcame all of that. I don't think I even said im sorry for all that pointless nonsense..so I guess right now is the best time to apologize. Its funny because..we aren't at a point where were calling eachother best friends or sisters or whatever but for some reason im able to trust you more than a lot of other people. Im able to tell you things I can't tell people you would expect me to tell. Its probably because we've been through all the same experiences we've both cried enough times to understand where eachothers coming from. Thank you so much for letting me be apart of this experience, this is the first court ive ever been a part of and the first debut I've been to period. I enjoyed myself so much and im really glad to have gotten to know everyone else in the court. We've all grown so close and just because the debut is over doesn't mean were gonna stop hanging out okay?! Anyway, mary you've become one of my close friends these past months and I really wanna thank you for everything you've done for me. I really appreciate all the memories and even hardtimes cos they only brought us closer. I've told you so many times and times before that im always gonna be here for you, through anything. Literally anything, you know im here. If there was ever a time you needed someone to vent to or cry you, im always a phonecall away, you know that. So all in all. Today is your day. You're finally 18, legall!! These past weeks have been very stressful for you, but look at the turnout. It was all worth it. So absorb your last day of being 17. because tomorrows your birthday big girl! I love you sooo mcuhhhh and..happy birthday beautiful. :-)"


Wow that shit's longer than I thought..Hahaha. Anyway. I had a good weekend. And of course Jazmyn had to be a part of it. ANYWAY. My birthday's coming up. I'm usually not one to remind everyone every day that it's coming, but I'm not doing anything to celebrate this year so.. :) Heh. Well. Let's see who remembers. MARCH 13 babe ! :) Oh tomorrow I'm going to Thai Village for a little early birthday brunch, I guess ! Thanks guys <3

I miss a yottaa faces.


Mains.


One of the best.


I love you Mary Rose !

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

What??

Today we actually did something at practice ! We actually got shit done. WOO.
& I got my frutista freeze today. :) Thank you best friend, I love you forever yanno.


I don't know what to do, I don't know what I WANT to do. I don't know what I want. I don't know anything. ... I'm lying. Because I know everything. But since it's not being handed to me I don't know if I should wait. What do you want me to do ? What do I do ? You're probably sayin' the same things. I don't know what I am. Who I am, who you are, who we are, what we are. What do I do ? What do you want? Because I want you. My lord, why did you put me in this situation ? Why did you do this to me ? What are you trying to teach me ? Which way do I go? I've never been so confused in my life. I promise you that, I promise you as important as I promise you to do. What the fuck is coming out of my mouth right now? More likely, what are my fingers typing ? Why am I typing this? Why am I thinking this? Why was I put here to think like this, to feel like this, to hurt like this? That's all I really want to know..I want to know how you feel. Fuckin tell me. I beg of you. I hate you.


Happy birthday Shannon Abenjor, Camille Querubin, & Mariel Enriquez <3

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

She was only 17..

So, if you don't know...my 17th birthday is coming up. & so far, I have no plans beside dinner with my Family. I don't really have anything to do this year..only because I don't have a place to have a party/kickback and if I do...it's uhhhhhh... not gonna be all that crackin'. I'm still deciding. I was thinking about having a dinner..but I know myself, & I get carried away and will invite up to like 50 people at the minimum. But anyway, I usually don't do this, but here what I would enjoy as a gift for my birthday, hehe :

  • Webcam & Mic
  • Candy, Sour Straws
  • Forever21 gift card
  • Big purses
  • Cellphone case for my BlackBerry Curve
  • The sunglasses in Juno
  • A new pair of jeans! (needed) Size 3
  • Tongue Rings, earrings, big rings, braclets, necklaces
  • Lakers Lanyard
  • Kobe jerseyy
  • Laptop
  • Blackleggings ! (needed)
  • Black leather jacket
  • Brown/black Fedora Hat
  • Red/Blue/Brown/White Beret
  • Besides that..your sweet love and affection is JUST fine.
I'm really really thinking if I should have a kickback..ehhhhhhhhhh..

Monday, March 2, 2009

Period 2

Hi dolls,
I'm in my 2nd period right noww at escuela...I'm a freakin T.A. for this keyboarding class so I'm super bored. :( I woke up this morning and my face looked funny. :( I thought it was because I feel asleep with my makeup on..but it wasn't. My face is swollen due to allergic reactions to..I HAVE NO idea. :( And my lips are all big again. WEEH. :( Hopefully pops can pick me up after 3rd period, chemistry because I feel like shit and super tired because of the benadrylls I took. I would leave now..but I have to go to my chemistry class because my teacher, SWAG FAG, called my daddy and told him he suspects that I cheated because I got a hundred percent and I striaght up don't pay attention in that class..because I'm sleeping most of the time. Haha. Shit. :( Did I cheat? Yea, everyone did ! Wtf, dumb teacher left his answer key on his desk so someone took it and it went around to all the periods. Haha.

Anywhooooooooooo... What time does this class end? 9:56, and it is..9:37. Uhhhhhhhh, I'm so boredd. :( and I feel like shit.Once I get home I wanna start working on the debut dresses for Mary. I tottally forgot how to work a sewing machine -_-; Mann. But I'm teaching myself and it's slowly coming back to me. UHHHHHHHH. Wtf. Alright. I'm gonna make it look like im doing something productive. Lata hata.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Goodbye February

& helloo March ! :)

Birthday's galore in march & I'm excited.
:) I'm already pretty planned out for the rest of the month, but things change. Let's see what I have so far. First weekend, Mary's debut weekend. Next weekend, my birthday. & prolly knotts on the 14th? Possibly. Nothing big..ACTUALLY..prolly have nothing special to do. Idk why I'm not trying to do anything this year. -_-; But thass okayy. Weekend after that, how sweet it is, nigga. :) The weekend after that. Glendale visit is what I'm aiming for, please. I wasn't able to visit glendale on friday. :( Sowee guys, I told everyone I was going then I bailed. -_-; Make it up to yaaaa.

Anyways, this weekend is officially over
, being that it is a sunday night. I had a good weekend. Friday was chill. Meeting new kids & eejay's pretty cutes. Saturday was bomb.com :) Better than I expected..considering the fact that I thought I wasn't even going. Jazmyn & Rowena are my fuckin favorite. I hope you had a good birthday Karen baby. Tuesday, woo ! <3 Love you best friend. &Finally, today was good. Long's my number one, serio. I had practice for debut and we're finally getting to finished and settle everything. Weeeeeeeee. :) Kinda excited. I hope everythang turns out good. Cos we're all lagging it. Haha.

Weeeeeeeh, I'm giving up chocolate, soda, & IN-N-OUT for lent. I'm so strong. Ha, you're prolly crazy and giving up meat like a buncha other kids. I would do that, but a fat girl needs her protein, behbeh !

Matthew Del Rosario, please call or text or message or comment me. I miss you very much..

This WHOLE week we're supposed to have debut practice every single day except tuesdaay..and honest, thanks to you.. I prolly won't be able to go. You apologized, thanks, I appreciate it a lot. But don't play stupid. How long did it take you to finally build up some balls to say two words to me? You apologize, but let me know when you realize what you did was FUCKED up..

&btw, I just like to know you still care. Don't give a girl bullshit, when ya can't hang.


Getting a little excited.


Some call us..West Covina Girls.


Too many girl pictures. It looks like there were NO guys..when there were double the amount compared to girls. Haha.



We have way too many of these. Haha. I like boys, you guys.