That "thug life" Shit

Wtf? I've had way too much of that Jazmyn shit lately. Hahaha. :)
Yesterday, I busted a mission. Adrian and Lennard picked me and Jazmyn up and we went to a kickback in Coronaa. CJ & Brian and all those cool kids. :) 'Twas pretty chill. I had a good time for a few hours. Haha. Anywaaaaaaaaay. Today. I flew up to cloud nine.




Only girls, once again...
It's all about Chelsea & Jaz.

Oh &,You..I'm mad at you. If you can't tell. Tell me when you realize it, so I can start making you feel bad, asshole. I cancel my plans para youu. & then I get this. Haha. I'm so mad at you. :)

Jan 30 09

Hmm..what's been up with me since I last updated..
Well. Wednesday, I went out with My best friend, Long, Mary, & Jazmyn. Twas a good short chill on a school day. They picked me up from school, then we went to IN-N-Out. Picked up Jaz and went to the shoppes to..well, shop ! :) We shop alrightt ! I got me some bracelets, earrings, a hat, nail polish and a pair of cute cute flats I never knew existed. :) For pretty cheap too. Hah, Anywayss, then we got some pink berry, got some flavor for jazmyn's hookah & took illegal pictures at "click." and I think it's pretty cute how they have props that you can use. Anyway, then me still being somewhat grounded my dad kept calling to make sure I was home before the sun was down. -_-; so I got home around 5:30-6. Poo. Anywaaay. Uhhhhh..Yesterday at school, the wind was an absolute monster ! While I was walking to class, the wind was pushing me to walk faster. -_-; Whateva maaaaan ! School's school. I fuckin passed hamptons whackshit class with a D. WASSUP?! Anyway, The laker games on. We're kiling the Timberwolves. Weeeeee !


Oh. btw, FML. I've been having allergic reactions every day for about two weeks. I don't fuckin know to what. I don't eat anything out of the ordinary. FUCKHIVES. I don't understand my body. Benadryll is my best friend right now.

Good Morning

to youuu and all your good friends !
:)


HAAAAAAY. It's super early, but that just means I fell asleep around 2 oclock a.m. yesterday so I woke up around 5:45. -_-; I hate that ! Anyway. Just felt I'd write a little somethin' somethin' before I head off to the place I hate the most. Uhhhhhhhhhh, I'm very proud of my gay video for getting honors. :)

#88 - Most Responded (Today) - Comedy
#42 - Top Favorited (Today) - Comedy
#99 - Most Discussed (Today) - Comedy
#93 - Most Viewed (Today) - Comedy - Canada
#81 - Top Rated (Today) - Comedy

Yay for you, you gay gay gay embarrassing video !

Hah. Hmmmm, it's a new semester and I can feel myself getting lazy already. :/ But I'm gonna man up, because that's the right thing to do ! My grades as of right now..well at least what I THINK I got. Spanish - C, T.A. - A, Chem - B, English - A, History - B, Algebra - D. Fuck you Algebra. I hate you. I'm gonna try to get my Spanish grade up today right before they turn in grades. Haha. Gimme a B at least, fagget !

SOOOO, I really hope this weekend I can go out. :/. I'm a good little girl now. I should be able to.

OH, And my poor babies. :( They lost yesterday. Fuck the Bobcats. Fuckin' pussies. That was an amazing game tho, I'll tell you that for one. Kobelove got fouled out tho, at the WORST timing. We needed him the most, real talk. They got freakin lucky. If we had him, we mos def woulda won. :( I was texted Marvin & Dino while they were playing. Haha Marvin's so fuckin gay. I got "IM GONNA MARRY KOBE" and nigga responds with "No, I am, gay. I'm gonna let him ram me until my butthole implodes" HAHAHAH. Man, what a fagget. And then we lost. But I will still marry him & I'm sure Marvin would always love to be buttfucked up him. Hahahaa. Alright, btw, Walton. you're a fuckin FAGGOT. Awiza baby, I hope yous okay. <3

From A Viewer..

I got a random message on MySpace from this guy..it really made me smile. :)

Subject:

I just had to tell you...

Body:

I'm looking through bulletins..and I see you make an announcement about your chubby bunny video...so of course I watched it....comic relief aside...something about you caught my eye while watching the video...you have a certain aura to you...like a good vibe, or a presence about you in front of a camera...you could potentially be an MTV VJ...well at least back in the day when they had legitimate VJs instead of playing TV shows all the time now...

But yes, I had to give that compliment where it was due to you, you have a good presence about you.

Quickie.

So..I have no school today. I didn't go out all weekend. I'm GOOOD. And honestly ! It wasn't even that bad..:) I'm a soldier. Cool.

I'm supposed to be taking my nap. I fell asleep for a good 15 minutes and then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. :( I tried and laid there for a good forever minutes. -_-; Ehhhhh. So I'm here listening to Bone Thugs N Harmony..doing nothing. :( Nothing's on TV ! Secret Life of the American Teenager (THAT TITLE IS SO FUCKIN LONG -_-;) is on tonight ! Woo ! Man. I hope I can go out this weekend. I'm gonna try to. Kickback Friday and some party thang saturday. Yikes. Let's hope hope. Alright Well.. I'm gonna go grub on s'more thai bbq left overs. Thats why I love eating there. I come home with extra food for mamaya (later in tagalog) Weeeeeeeeeee. I love my life. I'll probably blog later. I know I wanted to blog about something..I just forgot. :( Oh okay, bye.

Almost Done

I'm fuckin gay.

with lockdown ! Well at least I think I am. Daddy's being nicer to me now :) Yayyy. So this lockdown thing has brought some good to me. I cleaned my room. :) And finally got to organize my closet. I've been wanting to for thee longest time. :) It's organized by type, like tanktop long sleeve blahablhabhla..and then by color ! It's so cute, I don't wanna take anything out. Heh.

& I finally got a new video ! :) I made a chubby bunny video and I swear..before I made it I had to like talk to myself so I could get comfortable infront of the camera. If you guys noticed..my other videos before this one I wasn't so open and talkative, and I was kinda awkward. I had to open up, & I'm proud of myself so far ! :) I'm happy because I've gotten feedback that made people laugh. And that's all I needed. I don't care if you're laughing at or with me. I made you laugh. :)

Okay. Uhmm..tomorrow's monday I don't have school, HHAHAA NIGGA. okay bye.

Here's the vid if you haven't caught it yet !

Gravity

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do,
I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone.
I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though
I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.
You're keeping me down.
You're onto me, onto me and all over..

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long.

I want you to call me freakin' crazy. Because honestly, I hate how you pop into my mind so randomly. I hate how I always happen to click onto your MySpace like there's going to be something for me. I hate how..I can't be with you when I wanna be with you. But most of all, I hate how you have no idea how I really feel about you. Thank you for the memories. Thanks for all the times and moments, cos you've officially kept my mind occupied.

No one knows who I'm talking about in this damn shit. Actually there's one. There's one fool, but no longer do we speak. Tho I wish differently.

I am pretty fuckin' strong for dealing with this bullshit, Don't cha think?

Tomorrow I will be thinking differently..and then looking at this log thinking WTF was going on in my head. I know that because I do that everyday. I always wonder why the fuck did I do that?

Why the fuck did I fall in love with you...already knowing nothing can come of it? Hahha. I'm a fuckin comedian. I'm pretty full of myself too. To think, I thought I would win. Yea right.

FUCK IT. I'm just a girl in denial iss allll. :)


Have you guys..ever gotten that feeling..where like, you're so freakin sad and down. You honestly feel like you're gonna be sad for the rest of your life ? Damn, I hate that shit. Haha. I'm not saying I'm feeling it right now, cos I'm not. But I've been there. It's fuckin gay !

I think I'm deleting this blog tomorrow. Woo !
It's friday..and I'm at home.
Gee, Gama, why are you home and not out with your friends?
Well ! I'm grounded because I'm stupid and messed up quiet a bit. :(
I learned my lesson, daddy ! Can I go out now? :(

Bye !

Final-ly.

Today was pretty productive..Psyche.
Finals we're gaayy. Well, I was just whatever about it. Spanish, Chemistry, & Algebra were today. Tomorrow..that eazeee shit. English & History. Should be a pretty easy day tomorrow. I hate the pointless 15 minutes breaks. Can we just get the booshet over with. -_-; Nah sayyin' ? Anywhoo. After school, I went to Ranch Burgers with Val and stuffed myself with fuckin chilli cheese fwies. :( Horrible. Afterwards..I went home and knocked the fack out. That stupid benadryll I took in the morning got me. TELL ME WHY, I woke up and my upper lip was HUGE. :( I looked so funny. I almost didn't go to school but I man-ed up cos of them damn finals. It wore away, but if I pointed it out, you could notice. Anywho. Lakers are killing the wizards right now ! Woop !

oh &btw..whenever you're ready..I've been waiting.

Oh & Happy Birthday Michael Abella!
Miss ya, muchh !

Scissor Lock

A feww days ago, I was on my phone with Mattchuuu. And he told me about "Scissor Lock Dreaming." I guess it's when you dream and a spirit somewhat "holds you down" and you can't move for a good matter of minutes. He scawed me when he told me ! And then a few days later I happened to experience it. -_-; Or at least I think I did..I connect with my dreams fairly welll. Of course I get those fuckin' "WTF" was that about dreams, but I also get dreams that make me wonder. -_-; And those piss me off ! Anyway, when I feel like a scary dream is coming, or if I get scared or just freaked out by something in my dream. I've taught myself how to shake my head and wake up from it. That's weird huh? Yea. That's weird. I'm pretty weird. But one timee..I was taking my daily afternoon nap and I was sleeping on my left side with my left arm extended and my right arm under my pilloww..and then I fell asleep, started dreaming. I don't really remember what my dream was about..but..I felt like someone was holding my left hand (holding hands as is like couples do with finger locking and shit) I woke myself up because I was freaked out, and I looked around, no one was there..but I thought maybe I was just holding my own hand and let go really quick cos I jumped up. So I went back to sleep. and then AGAIN, I feel like someone's holding my hand..so this time. I didn't move. I just layed there..to see if anything else was gonna happen..eventually I was getting freaked out cos I felt like my hand was pushed and pushed and gripped even tighter, so I tried to wake up and move, but I couldn't. I started screaming..at least in my head..I was scared. I eventually was able to freakin shake my head. >.< I woke up panting cos I was so freaked out. It was never that hard for me to wake up before. I never had to think about it and push myself THAT much. -_-; I was scawed, very scawed. EH. Anywayyy..Russell said that I was "possessed" :( AHHH, fuck. Every since that day, I haven't even been able to sleep for a straight 8 hours. I have to wake up every 3 to 4 hours. -_-; And when I wake up I'm WIDE awake..but yet am able to fall asleep in a simple matter of minutes. Wtf is wrong with me? I really needa start praying more before I sleep. :/.

ANYWAY..wtf is wrong with my blog. It deleted parts of it like a millie times.. -_____-; Okay ! As I have typed before, but you don't know that because it deleted. -_-;..

Someone tell me why the weather was hot today but it was fuckin raining. It was a freakin sunshower. I didn't know if I should keep my sweater on or not. Aye nako. This confusing weather is so annoying ! Anywho. Finals are tomorrow and Friday. :/ I'm worried! But..eh. All I worried about is my Algebra2 final..the rest I'm okay with. I HATE MATH. AHHHHH. :( Wish me luck guys ! Yikesss. Oh, and I finally uploaded a new video today ! Well kinda, I just kinda asked for some suggestions on a new video. I got a few. and I think I wanna make a chubby bunny vid. :) So expect that coming up prolly by next week. :) (Then again, I lag it..so HAHA.) Also..a hair tutorial? Maybeehhh ! We'll see, we'll see how lazy I'm feeling. Haha. -_-; Okay. Thanks to every for the suggestions and if you have anything else. Just let me know ! Love you guys !

I'm out. Finals, EW. Bye.

Oh ! My daddy bought strawberries today and there was one that looks like a baseball glove thing. I found it really interesting..LOOK !

Cos If Ya Single..

So..I've looked at the past months on my calendar. It's been about..a good..eight months that I've been single. HA ! Damn, That's a long ass time. But It feels so short, then again, I've dated a bit. It just never reached that level to putting on that certain label. Anywho, I haven't been thinking about being ina relationship for a long while. It sure would take a lot to change my mind about that because I'm very much content. I guess it's just really hard because since I have changed enough, I realized that I need someone just as down and crazy as I am..yet, still able to hold me down. I've been getting a lot of "I don't understand how you're still single." It's honestly my decision. Actually, I'm sure theres a boy or two I could pick you that I would very much enjoy trying with again. But they're not interested. So I put up my middle finger, smile, & move on !

I realized..there are seriously guys out there..that really are complete assholes. Like LITERALLY, they are man-made fuckin' dicks. I used to think..'heeyy, every guy deserves a girl. Every guy has a heart.' But within this past months of 'keeping my options open' I've met a few bitchy ass boys that..all they REALLY DO WANT is some damn ass. I've not only met BUT dated. If it's not the ass they wanted, it was just some comfort. Wtf goes on in your heads is all I wanna know, fellas. Don't start dating a girl when yanno there's a BIG, FAT FLAW right there in your way. Tell her wassup right away, because on the real..she's just a vunerable as any other bitch in this world. Then OF COURSE, the good guys, the nice, sweet guys, we don't care for because..us, ladies, thinking we are SO independent and SO tough and strong. We like a challenge. Well, at least that's how I like it. I don't change my boys like I change my underwear, girls. Hopefully same for you.

I guess it's slowly, very slowly starting to hit me that I've been single for a while now. & the fun..sooner or later is going to have to come to an end. Not fully..just more responsibly. I guess it's because I've been getting really caught up lately. With cops and undertheinfluence kinda thangs. But seriously. It's gonna be a long while until a girl like me gets in a relationship. I, HONESTLY, think I might even graduate high school single. I'm not saying I'm holding back, because if anything I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve. But I have such higher, HIGHER expectations than before.

..On a different note,
It's quiet week. Finals are on Thursday and Friday. I feel like I can get everything figured out..but fuck I'm scared. :( Once the 2nd Semester Begins, I'm getting back on track. So to my little texting buddies that I text everyday in class..I'm gonna hold back a bit. Cos I kinda..wanna graduate.

P.S. FUCK ALGEBRA2

Oh & btw.."BFF"

I really fuckin' miss you, believe it or not. How the fuck did we go from seeing each other every other to not seeing each other for week+. How the fuck did we go from goodnight and random 'wassup' texts to you ignoring my calls and messages? I have to say..I'm pretty disappointed because we were each others ride or die homies, til-we-grow-old best friends, each others wing-man, you're my fuckin brother, don't you see that shit ? But wtf can I do ? You're making your decisions on your own. & usually I would be the one to help..but I can't even cos I'm part of the situation now. Whatever foo, whatever makes you happy. I'm still here if you need someone to run to. I'm just curious to if I'm able to run to you still. You've REALLY let me down. Please..please come to your down senses cos you're making me cry.
I love you, best friend.
I keep my promises.

An Important Promise..

I'm so sick and tired of hearing people say "Promises are meant to be broken." Even though, yes, yes, about 80 percent of promises made are broken, 15 percent of those promises were broken by will. At least that's how I see it as..

I've been caught up in so many lies lately, and I feel like they're slowly catching up to me. I have no say into how things are gonna end up in the future. But I have expectations. My guilt slowly sinks in, it's kind of annoying..

You guys reading are probably mind-blogged and "wtf is she talking about?" I seriously don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I just needed to vent something really quick..-_-;

ANYWOOO. This weekend was pretty chill even though I only went out on Saturday. I didn't even think I was gonna go out at all..but haay ! Considering myself, once again!, lucky. :) I scratched up my phone on Saturday. :( WEHH. I don't even know how it happened, but whatever ! It's still tha cutest thing ever. :) Yay, there's a laker game today ! I have somethang to do !

OH! & Btw, Happy Birthday Jessica Gallegos ! :) I love you, baby ! Enjoy this onee !

Fuck The Police

Wow, I haven't blogged in like a month and a day. I'm deciding to now because it seems to be everyone is into blogging now, so I'm tryin' out the fun. & plus yesternight was a pretty interesting night to remember..

Let's just say..it got pretty fuckin' outta hand ! We all know what happened. But long story short. Drinks, drunk, cops, little sisters in hospital, and trouble for many. I, luckily, didn't get in trouble. I was proud of myself for being able to keep cool. :) Wooooooooo ! Me and Viv are champions. Hahaha. It was funny cos once the cops came..it was literally every man for themselves. If your ass made it out of the house before the cops came, you were considered a lucky one. If you didn't leave the house, but you didn't get sent to the hospital or a ticket you were consider lucky, but stupid.

Anyway, fuck the police. They were pretty much bitches. -_-; but I guess it's understandable.

But fuck it, you guys down for part two or what ?!
HAAAAAAA. :)

Wow. I haven't updated since before winterbreak. Let's have a little short thang on went down
Beach with my best friends at 1 in the morning. ;) Parties and kickbacks and crasy nights out. The mountains and snow and foggy ass shit. Fuck the police ! They confiscated my hookah. :( R.I.P. babyy ! :( Meeting lots of new people and grounded for newyears. Runaway to vegas and having one crasy night. Bestfriend came and we roadtripped and got stranded. I think I accomplished EVERYTHING I wanted to this past break. HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY. :)