Call Her Crazy

Call me fuckin' crazy. Should be my middle name. In relation for what I've done for you. Shit.. I'm off the meter when it comes to normal and crazy. It's about time we had another break. Don't cha think? Since beginning of april we've been...pretty close. Which is normal, but it was longer than normal. I'm not even gonna think it has a reason. How long's this break gonna be? Being that it was a pretty long period of time we acted like we worked out. I think it's time for my downs again, cos I'm not used to this to be honest. I don't want to get used to anything. We still have a lot of time to go. I was thinking to myself while we were spending so much time together..I wasn't sure if I liked all the attention. Maybe because it's not what I'm used to tho. Right? Idk, it was all a weird happy blur for me. How about for you?

And another thing..I've honestly been kinda curious to what's going on with that one. If I find something out later.. I'm dunzo, seriously. Make sure I don't catch shit slippin, cos you won't like the consequence. Trust me. Midnight calls? Mama no likeyy...But overrally mama no likey YOU period. So do me and my girls a favor and GTFO. Idk what happened, you just slowly moved to my bad side. Through my eyes honestly, you're fake and try to hard..I hate needing to say that. I've already tried to figure you out. You failed.

Oh, btw..I'm still fuckin' scared because my body's been acting up all funky. FML.

Lastly, I wanna thank you tho, for everything you did to see me. =] I swear you're the cutest thing when you miss me. Make sure you let me know when you start to miss me again, kay? I'm waiting. =]


CST testing are killing me. Algebra 2 tomorrow, Fuck. I hate math. I still wanna aim for getting that hour lunch even thought I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be leaving after 4th period senior year. AH SENIOR YEAR. Wtf? I blinked and all of a sudden I'm a senior? Oh haylllllll... Alright. Scared? Excited? I can't really decided on how I feel about it.

YouTube videos wise. I've been wanting to make one. I've honestly just be too busy..ohkay fine, I've just been lazy. Busy of weekends. Lazy during the week. 21 thoughts video..I only thought of 18 tho.. =[ Soon soon, promise. =] AND STFU on you guys saying "filipinos are asian" Whatever fuckers ! I still don't think we are. Suck my dick.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh........I need a prom dresssssssss !!
AND UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. EDC IS LOOKING PRETTY GOOOOOOD RIGHT NOW.

I'm proud of my boys. Lakers finished first round against Jazz. Who's next fuckers ! We're gonna take this all the way, we better. Cos I fuckin' made bets already. Shaitttt.

Oh and for the fool down the street. You need to get your shit straight.. you want this today, tomorrow you don't. I'm ready when you're ready..

That was just a lot of things I had on my mind. OKAY BYE.

April 26 09

Well I don't think I can stress the fact more than I love that my mother is back in California. I feel like this weekend...helped me get away from everything I wanted to get away from and just settle down and chill. Ya already know ya made my weekend, boo. But honestly..and oddly enough, I have no idea what I'm feeling ! I KNOW what I'm thinking..but I have no idea what I'm feeling. Would someone like to tell me? That'd be amazingly helpful. Wouldn't it? Like if there was someone else to make your decisions for you..the one's you never wanted to make. So that way..when the person has made your decision for you..all the people you've affect beyond that decision..you can blame it on the the fagget that choose for you. Wtf? Am I okay? Prolly not, I have come to a conclusion to why I haven't given up and pulled out my white flag to wave:

I'm content, but I'm not the happiest.
I'm scared, but I'm not terrified.
I'm confused, but I'm not going crazy.
I'm working, but I'm not trying my hardest.
I'm tired, but I'm not exhausted.
I'm in pain, but I'm not dying.
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.

If you wanna wave my white flag for me to surrender, DO IT. Cos I don't think it's even possible for me to do it on my own. I've come so close to doing it..but all in all, I know I'm never going to..and why is that? Because I don't want to ! To do something, you're either forced to or want to. I'll tell you now the only reason I'm doing this is because I want to. It's not like you're not making it easy for me tho. Hahahahahaha. I was so fuckin sure too, like a retard..but WTF, it's like impossible. I needa stand my ground but until the time comes, this earthquake is absoutely ridiculous.


Wow, for those of you crazies who actually read this bullshit. Why? You have no idea what I'm even talking about. I just like to vent. Hope you don't mind.

WHAT'S NEXT? COS I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FUCKIN' CRAZY THIS ROLLERCOASTER IS.

The things I do for you..
Oh baby, yadaeven know thoo.

"Now I ain't gotta trip about them bitches who like him,
Cos me and daddy know who can really make him gooo."

April 19 2009

I'm singing this to you;

Chasing Pavements-Adele

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust
I know this is love
But, if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
Cos it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I end up with you

[Chorus]
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waitin' as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it?

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
should I leave it there
Should I give up
Or should I just keep on chasin' pavements
Should I just keep on chasin' pavements?

So moma says she's moving back to california..oh boy, let's see how that goes or if it even goes through..Gonna hang out with her today, super excited..yet super nervous to what's gonna go down. Its always a whirlwind of events when im with my moma..we'll see..

April 19 2009

Overrall, spring break wasn't THAT bad.
I got in my kicks and my fun.

Hope you guys enjoyed it as well !



You have no idea how much I'm loving your attention right now..

I love when you miss me.

Laying bed, super bored and nothing on TV. Just wanted to try out this blogging through text thing.

This spring break kinda blows being that half the people had spring break the week before -_-; also the weather kinda kills it. Next week its supposed to reach 90s. Wtf. -_-; 4/20 on monday. Hmmm... =] haha. We'll seee. Any plans for this weekend? Hit me upp.

Okay well im watching friends and patricks on the phone. Im prolly gonna KO soon. Goodnight!

April 15 09

Dang, everything is starting to be able to be updated through your phone. Pretty coooll.

Anyway, let's update ya on my life a bit yes?
On monday was the bonfire. Went pretty well. Let's see if I can name everyone..ready set go ! : Jazmyn, Rowena, Long, Karen, Adrian, Anthony, Stan, Claude, Angelo, Robbie, Jon, JonP, Josh, Alex, Aileen, MattD, Andre, Alanna, Kirstie, Shannon, Josh, Rene, Marvin, Godfrey, Angel, Jessica, Camille, Lexus, Ron.etc ! Shiet and then there were about 10 people I don't know the names of. Haha, if i forgot you I apologize deeply. Anyway. I had a lot of fun. Spent the whole day there from 3-10. Good day very much. The beach took my fuckin flipflops and ring tho. Fuckin' asshole. Lots of laughs and there never was a time I said I was bored. Thanks to everyone who went and I apologize if some of my yelling to get everyone together was annoying. =] Haha.

Anyway, there's something that's been bothering me. But I honestly don't know what it is..I've been tryna figure it out for a while now, but I just can't put my finger on it. I don't think it's what I think it is, at least I hope not. Honestly. This whole love triangle going on is annoying. It's not even a triangle, more like an octagon, Wtf? Dude..you needa figure yourself out cos you don't even know how many people you're affecting. I honestly dont even see what they all see. Maybe that's just me tho, cos I can't see you as nothing more than a friend now. I'm happy I didn't fall into your trap, but people still seem to think I am. Hahaha. You and I both know we're just fucking around..but dude..yadaevenknow.. just becareful. Tears ah' fallin' cosa yaa...

Another thing, the person I would except to be there for me through thick and thin. Lemme know when you miss me. Cos I'd wanna know too..ASSHOLE.

Honey, Yanno...we all just care for you. But what's gotten into you? You don't understand how much we've been worrying about you. I hope you come to your senses soon..and understand you do have people you can run to. We don't let you call us your friends for nothing..Talk to us. We miss you. It's like your there physically, but you're not there mentally. You're not the same anymore. At least that's what I think. Idk, I just feel like you're hiding so much that you don't need to. For the last time, we're here. Patiently waiting on you.

And lastly, he still doesn't understand.

April 12 09

Happy birthday, Iopu. =]


I just wanna say, I hate this feeling and I'm definitely craving to get out of this house to get my mind off things. Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby ?

I haven't been out all weekend. Wehhhhhhh ! Twas supposed to go out with Jaz and Aldric and what not, but that was a major fail. It's okay, we have alla spring break ta chill thooooo.
Dude. How Sad, I have nothing to fuckin blog about because I haven't been doing anything ! Wtf. Someone pick me up right now. Let's get some pho.

April 11 09

Shh, but fuck today !

Anyway, This weekend to start off break I'm gonna stay home with my fams and church. And uhhhhhhh, yea. Friday and Saturday I dedicated to Church just to end Lent the correct way. Tomorrow Jaz might sleepover and we uhhh....have to wake up super early for Monday. A.K.A. Bonfire, yum. =] I hope that day goes well, please...go well. Okay. I don't really know what to blog about.

Our random nights are what me keep me sane..
Stop by more often. =]

April 08 09

Please don't do this..
Don't scare me, don't let me down again. PLEASE. I'm begging you.
I can't believe what you're doing right now, again? Like this? Why would you do this?
Scare and hurt all the people who love you so much. Please stop.
I need you in my life. Don't do this to me.

I'm so fuckin' scared.

April 07 09

vNo matter what I do it's not good enough for you huh?
I try every fuckin day to make you proud but it never seems to match your standards..


Anyway..today I had to biggest craving for pho ever. =[
Would someone like to swoop me up one day and take me on a pho date ! =]

Almost spring break and I hope I have a good one...the bonfire seems to be looking pretty good so I'm prettyyyy excited ! =]]]
I just know I hafta burn out a lotta money for your asses cos I know you guys and I know you guys won't bring a lotta shit. -_-Hah. Anyway, Hit me up for info I'm tryna invite everyone as much as I can but I'm losin' track.

Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby?
and I'll do my best to make it betterrr.

April 06 09

Didn't do much this weekend, just stayed with the fams.
Yesterday was a productive day. Palm sunday then I got to see my baby ! =]]
I missed her so much I'm so happy she's here.

Went to a late lunch and early dinner with all three of my hermanas.
Talk about fatties !
Then played chubby bunny and watched twilight when we got home.

Today going to take Alanis to watch Monster vs. Alien !

Wooooooo


And I'm having a good hair day. =]
Hahaahaha.

April 04 09

Hello guys. Wow It's been a long while eh? March 25 was the last post. Simply because before this past friday, I didn't go on for a week. Wtf, Chelsea? No Internet? Impossible ! Yea mann. Possible. I got introuble friday for coming home too late so that was my bad, I coulda gotten the internet back sooner if I asked for it, but I kinda felt like I needed a break from everything. And the week that I was off this thing helped me a lott. I felt soo much more productive. I helped around the house a lot more, it didn't really change anything for me school wise cos I rarely ever have homework. -_-; But anyway, felt like I had a lot more time for myself which I didn't realize I didn't have because I've been out every weekend since about..december. -_-; I didn't realize how busy I was. With Mary's Debut, my birthday and everyone elses..I haven't had time for myself at all. So this past week helped me gather up all my thoughts. You see the blog before this one ? Where I'm asking to put my life on pause for a bit, I think this past week gave me that. It kept me away from the whole myspace and youtube world for a while, which I definitely needed. It helped me get away from my friends a bit and just chill with my fams AND myself. I've been so focused on talking to friends and blahblah through AIM and MySpace that I forgot about myself for a little. I figured out everything I needed and somewhat of what I wanted. It was about time for that too. And this weekend I'm staying home. ALL WEEKEND. No sadies or anything for me. :( But it's okay, like I said. It's about time.
_____________________________________________________
To Anonymous:
I finally got myself figured out on where we stand. I don't think you have, but I know where I am. I don't know where I'm going..but I know where I am. No longer will I be bugging you with my text messages. I figured out that if you need me, you'll come to me. But I'm not always going to be here. As much as I want to be..I can't. It's not a now or never kinda thing, it's more like..No now? Okay bye, see you later tho. If that made sense. It did to me, whatever. It's not like you're going to read this shit, I just like to vent. OH, and as much as I don't wanna say I miss you..I really do. So there ya have it.
_____________________________________________________
To Anonymous:
Hurting you is definitely something I wanna stay away from.. I don't know what I did to make you think you way you do of me, but I sincerely apologize. You mean so much to me..but I don't think it's the same way I mean to you.. You do SO much for me and you don't even know how grateful I am. Don't think I never considered it..it's just..I don't know. It's just not the same. You know what I mean, please don't put me in any position I don't wanna be in..I love you.
_____________________________________________________
To Anonymous:
You guys don't understand how shit works nowadays. Don't act like I'm stupid. I honestly just try to avoid your confrontation, because you'll never understand what's really going on in my head. Because..it's like everything I say is incorrect. Everything I do disappoints you. Right? I'm a piece of shit, and a disappointment to you. I try my fuckin' hardest everyday to make you guys proud..but it's impossible. Don't act like I put no effort in my school either please. I try, you swear like you were absolutely perfect. You guys needa remember I'm still a teenager, I'm still learning. Let me fuck up and learn from my mistakes. I've taken every consequence you've given me. I'm still finding myself. Let me live. Please.
_____________________________________________________
To Anonymous:
I don't know where you are, I don't know what you've been doing. All I know is that you're fucking up again and I wish I can say I was surprised. But I'm not..How interesting was it to get that phonecall. You're the only person I can start thinking about and start crying out of nowhere. Please be fuckin smart with your shit, you're way too old for me to be worrying about you. Don't do this. Please, I hate when you do this to yourself. The law isn't going to change for you. Please, I'm begging you. Help yourself.
_____________________________________________________
To Anonymous:
You're REALLY cute and sweet; and I can see it happening..but I gotta see a bit more effort. I don't even know if you're just playing games or not, I'm playing the game, but my smiles are realll. Let's see how it goes..cos no doubt am I interested, but will it mess things up? Let's hope not..


Wooo, that was fun huh ? Anyway. Enough letters and your boggling minds wondering who their for. This past week has been great. Went by quick. On Thursday I went to lunch with Ellison and forced him to get pho with me. =] Cos I've been all about that shiiiet these days and I want s'more at this very moment ! =] Hehe. Anyway. I didn't realize how long it's been since I've seen that nigga and I missed him dearly. again next week with Karen and Tristan. Yay ! =] Friday I did nothing, just stayed home and watched the laker game. Todayy, Jaz came over so I could do her hair for sadiess. She might sleepover tonight, yay ! Okay. I'm gonna watch the best years. It premiered yesterday. =]]] Hasn't been on since like...me and Patrick were together ! Holykanoly ! Alright. Oh ! I got twitter ! follow me on it ! The links on my myspace.. Late !

He missed me.


Couldn't mess up our weekend streak.
(Btw, tell her how cute her hair is ;] )