I forgot

I forgot how it feels.

How it makes my heart literally crumble out of nervousness. How it feels for my cheeks to ache from him making me smile so much. How it feels to reread my text messages over and over with the sweet things he says. I don't remember the last time I was excited to see him.. when I would keep looking back at the door to see him walk through. or constantly glancing at the street to see if he would pull up the driveway. I forgot how it feels to WANT to stay home just so I could talk to him. or how it feels to worry about him being out w/o me cos some other bitch is tryna get some. Or, or..how it feels to smile cos every love song related to us. & I wouldn't even WANT to listen to any heartbreak bullshit cos it didn't even sound good if it doesn't relate.

I've been playing on this field so long I'm getting tired or running the same bases everyday. Officially am I not talking to anyone, nor do I have feelings for anyone. I've tried plenty of times to find him, but he's ina hiding spot that's difficult for me to find with juts my own two eyes. It gets lonely after awhile, my two best friends both have someone. So it gets eery when they both have someone to talk about. While I wish I could have someone to complain about, but instead I'm just helping with advice. Not trying to bitch. Just saying, it would feel so great to be able to go home and tell someone about my day, or how much I miss him, or just to stay on the phone with absolutely silent, but still enjoying the company of them on the phone.

But as wisemen once said, good things come to those who wait..

It's only a matter of time, that I find that good, great, amazing person.