April 04 09

Hello guys. Wow It's been a long while eh? March 25 was the last post. Simply because before this past friday, I didn't go on for a week. Wtf, Chelsea? No Internet? Impossible ! Yea mann. Possible. I got introuble friday for coming home too late so that was my bad, I coulda gotten the internet back sooner if I asked for it, but I kinda felt like I needed a break from everything. And the week that I was off this thing helped me a lott. I felt soo much more productive. I helped around the house a lot more, it didn't really change anything for me school wise cos I rarely ever have homework. -_-; But anyway, felt like I had a lot more time for myself which I didn't realize I didn't have because I've been out every weekend since about..december. -_-; I didn't realize how busy I was. With Mary's Debut, my birthday and everyone elses..I haven't had time for myself at all. So this past week helped me gather up all my thoughts. You see the blog before this one ? Where I'm asking to put my life on pause for a bit, I think this past week gave me that. It kept me away from the whole myspace and youtube world for a while, which I definitely needed. It helped me get away from my friends a bit and just chill with my fams AND myself. I've been so focused on talking to friends and blahblah through AIM and MySpace that I forgot about myself for a little. I figured out everything I needed and somewhat of what I wanted. It was about time for that too. And this weekend I'm staying home. ALL WEEKEND. No sadies or anything for me. :( But it's okay, like I said. It's about time.
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To Anonymous:
I finally got myself figured out on where we stand. I don't think you have, but I know where I am. I don't know where I'm going..but I know where I am. No longer will I be bugging you with my text messages. I figured out that if you need me, you'll come to me. But I'm not always going to be here. As much as I want to be..I can't. It's not a now or never kinda thing, it's more like..No now? Okay bye, see you later tho. If that made sense. It did to me, whatever. It's not like you're going to read this shit, I just like to vent. OH, and as much as I don't wanna say I miss you..I really do. So there ya have it.
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To Anonymous:
Hurting you is definitely something I wanna stay away from.. I don't know what I did to make you think you way you do of me, but I sincerely apologize. You mean so much to me..but I don't think it's the same way I mean to you.. You do SO much for me and you don't even know how grateful I am. Don't think I never considered it..it's just..I don't know. It's just not the same. You know what I mean, please don't put me in any position I don't wanna be in..I love you.
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To Anonymous:
You guys don't understand how shit works nowadays. Don't act like I'm stupid. I honestly just try to avoid your confrontation, because you'll never understand what's really going on in my head. Because..it's like everything I say is incorrect. Everything I do disappoints you. Right? I'm a piece of shit, and a disappointment to you. I try my fuckin' hardest everyday to make you guys proud..but it's impossible. Don't act like I put no effort in my school either please. I try, you swear like you were absolutely perfect. You guys needa remember I'm still a teenager, I'm still learning. Let me fuck up and learn from my mistakes. I've taken every consequence you've given me. I'm still finding myself. Let me live. Please.
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To Anonymous:
I don't know where you are, I don't know what you've been doing. All I know is that you're fucking up again and I wish I can say I was surprised. But I'm not..How interesting was it to get that phonecall. You're the only person I can start thinking about and start crying out of nowhere. Please be fuckin smart with your shit, you're way too old for me to be worrying about you. Don't do this. Please, I hate when you do this to yourself. The law isn't going to change for you. Please, I'm begging you. Help yourself.
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To Anonymous:
You're REALLY cute and sweet; and I can see it happening..but I gotta see a bit more effort. I don't even know if you're just playing games or not, I'm playing the game, but my smiles are realll. Let's see how it goes..cos no doubt am I interested, but will it mess things up? Let's hope not..


Wooo, that was fun huh ? Anyway. Enough letters and your boggling minds wondering who their for. This past week has been great. Went by quick. On Thursday I went to lunch with Ellison and forced him to get pho with me. =] Cos I've been all about that shiiiet these days and I want s'more at this very moment ! =] Hehe. Anyway. I didn't realize how long it's been since I've seen that nigga and I missed him dearly. again next week with Karen and Tristan. Yay ! =] Friday I did nothing, just stayed home and watched the laker game. Todayy, Jaz came over so I could do her hair for sadiess. She might sleepover tonight, yay ! Okay. I'm gonna watch the best years. It premiered yesterday. =]]] Hasn't been on since like...me and Patrick were together ! Holykanoly ! Alright. Oh ! I got twitter ! follow me on it ! The links on my myspace.. Late !

He missed me.


Couldn't mess up our weekend streak.
(Btw, tell her how cute her hair is ;] )